Just Breathe

A girlfriend of mine is just 8 short weeks away from her due date of her son. This is her first child and even though I am a new mother myself, she has come to me with many questions and asking for loads of advice. I recall that while I was pregnant, I looked to Google and mom forums with most of my questions. It's not that I didn't have anyone to ask questions - I just liked having a multitude of responses, ranging from one extreme to the next. It was enough to make you crazy! That said, I love that she comes to me with questions. I feel that in the nearly ten months that I've had my child, I've learned a great deal. That and I don't want her to make herself crazy by poking around Dr. Google. There's a lot of scary stuff out there!

I've done my best to always be honest, while trying to not scare her at the same time. I have advised her to take breastfeeding and parenting classes because I found them to be helpful. I coached her on her glucose testing. I've warned her about some of the more uncomfortable things that we experience before and after delivery. I've told her how her heart will grow a million times over. I've told her that she will fall even deeper in love with her husband.

I would like to think that my advice has been helpful.

Today, however, something struck me. There is one piece of advice that I wish someone had given me and something that so many new mommies need to hear. I had not given her that advice yet but to me, this is the most essential thing to remember. So, during a messaging conversation where we were discussing visitors after having the baby and feeling a bit territorial, I thought this would be a good opportunity share my most important advice.

My message and my advice to her went like this:
"OK, truth… You are going to have moments where you are so frustrated with yourself and with the baby and with (husband)... Being a mom is a crazy transition that is emotionally pulling. When things get to be too much, take time to breathe. Seriously. Just take some time to collect yourself and take some deep breaths. I never knew how important it was to just breathe."

This advice is as real as it gets, mommas. It's no wonder we forget to take some deep breaths when we are overwhelmed by a crying child, lack of sleep, messy everything and the need to find a moment to pee. But when things get overwhelming, exhausting, frustrating... and they will, take a moment and just breathe. Breathe. I promise, it helps.


7 comments

  1. When I became a Mom, I was pretty sure every other Mom before me kept how earth-shattering it would be a secret! I kept thinking to myself, "Why didn't anyone, ANYONE, tell me how terrible this could be?" Most of that was my postpartum talking, but I wish someone had been more completely honest with me. Your friend is lucky to have you in her life :) Hope motherhood has been treating you well!

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    1. Thank you and thank you! It's so much harder than anyone could ever say but it is also so much more incredible! The good days are amazing but there are definitely moments where you question everything, especially yourself. I had moments where I just cried because what else can you do? Finally, I've learned to focus on breathing. It actually works and doesn't screw up your makeup... But really, I love motherhood. It is the single greatest thing I've ever done. And though I have no clue half the time, I think my daughter things that I'm doing OK - most of the time!

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  2. So true. I almost went crazy after my first baby. I had no idea how much of a control freak I was until I had no control over anything. Looking back I see that if I had just taken a few minutes to relax I would have felt better about everything. My first baby was a cry non-stop baby who only slept while being held. As a new Mom I felt I must have been doing something wrong and I didn't want her to cry so much. Now I know she was fine and just loud, and I could have put her in her crib and stood outside for 2 minutes where I couldn't hear her crying. I would have been better than sitting crying myself while listening to her cry. Motherhood is so tough, especially in the early days. It's important to share these little things. Great post!
    #Alittlebitofeverything
    ~Jess

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    1. Thank you so much! This is my first rodeo and everyone tells me that I have an easy baby. She's pretty happy and doesn't fuss a lot but it's still tough and she can still be demanding! Motherhood definitely tests your limits and teaches us a new kind of patience!
      Thank you so much for visiting!

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  3. Yes, this is such simple but true advice! I also have a 10 mo and a friend who is 9 weeks away from delivery... she comes to me with all kinds of questions and I love being able to share what I have experienced and learned :)

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    1. Isn't that great!? We learn so much on the journey and it's great to share. I remember having so many questions. Mothers being there for one another is a giant blessing!
      So glad you stopped by!

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  4. Yes, this is such simple but true advice! I also have a 10 mo and a friend who is 9 weeks away from delivery... she comes to me with all kinds of questions and I love being able to share what I have experienced and learned :)

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